2. Young Opinions

A few of the sections in for seeing eye dogs only dealt with children and their comments. There were also some laughs from church bulletins. Here are some questions related to the bible with their answers.

What do they call pastors in Germany?
German Shepherds.

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
For him, everything wasn't two bad.

Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
She loved music as well as Art - that was his name.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Because of the perils of drugs, they didn't have the Honda Quaalude, Ford Ecstacy, Ford LSD, Dodge Valium, or the Volkswagen Hasher.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
This was before he got a gig in the Catskills.

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Your mother ate us out of house and home.
I wonder if they got back their deposit.
Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses, because he broke all Ten Commandments at one time.
Everyone loses his balance from time to time.

Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
This was before the credit unions.

Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
It would have been even easier for him if the place had cable.

Which Bible character had no parents?
Joshua, son of Nun.
I didn't think the Felicians could get married.

Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah was standing on the deck.
They could have gone to the casino downstairs.

Why is it a sin for a woman to make coffee?
It's in the Bible. It says "Hebrews."

Children are the future of our country, but they also provide us with much insight. Here are a few of their responses from the classroom. You'll notice I let the child have the last word.

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.

Teacher: Why are you late, Frank?
Frank: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Frank: The one that says, "School ahead, go slow."

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication
on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie. Always say, "I am."
Millie: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his
father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louis: Because George still had the ax in his hand.


Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly
the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, Teacher, it's the same dog.

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.

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