xxxxxxxxxxApril Fools Day - 2008

xxxxxI retired to bed on April Fools Day and by the time I awoke the next day, I had a dream about work. Maybe nightmare is more like it, but perhaps the fact that the first of April was involved had something to do with this fiasco. Technically, my unconscious pursuits occured in the morning, so it really was April 2nd. I'll get into more details later - while I can still recall them.
xxxxxI related a few occasions relating to my job experiences and searches in my first book on work, Tick Tock, Don't Stop - A Manual for Workaholics. I think these are worth repeating. I'm not one hundred per cent sure of when this opportunity arrived, but it was either in the summer of 2001 or at the end of 1999. I heard about a possibility to make some money by getting involved with a health care product business. I sent the $30, or whatever was requested for the video, and started to view it. It displayed crazy people yelling and screaming at some kind of gathering while they celebrated their successful month with selling these products. It wouldn't have upset me that much if they were bragging about making a grand or so, but it turns out that the payoff was tens of thousands of dollars. I wanted a job and not a huge tax liability.
xxxxxJust selling the goods would bring in a few bucks but these people on the video were not doing that, exactly. Rather they recruited a group of sales people and they just skimmed the profits off - my editor will chastise me for not using the word from instead - those who actually peddled the product. You could compare these greedy, bragging individuals to agents, lawyers and middleman such as I described in I Don't Want to be a Pirate - Writer, maybe, the book I had published in March 2008. Yes, indeed, these people were thieves.
xxxxx I returned the video and received a check for what I had originally sent for quite a few reasons. First, I don't want to be a pirate and second, I'm not crazy about sales and never have been. As a writer, I have to move people to buy my books, so I'm stuck with bit of selling. However, I could never force a product on someone if I wouldn't purchase it myself. Obviously, I'm proud of what I have written, but I'm not that sure about that health care stuff.
xxxxxAnother way of making money that you probably have heard about has to do with working at home. Send $20 and you will get a kit in the mail about the mail order business. What you will be told to do is to enlist people to send you cash and you can in turn, send them the same kit you just received. They can then do what you have done. If you can figure out what the product is, let me know. I believe this is a pyramid scheme, which happens to not only be illegal, but a great misuse of a word. The building of the Great Pyramids so long ago was really work and required a great effort, as opposed to scams.
xxxxxI had another opportunity during the recession of 1992 for a job possibility that didn't involve computers. I had finished a contract in January at Rochester Telephone in Rochester and there didn't seem to be too many consulting opportunities, but I heard about a deal with a group called Display America. It said you could make $1000 a week and no sales was involved. I should have smelled a rat from that offer. If truth in advertising were in effect here, the words would have been, "You could, but probably wouldn't make $1000 for those five days."
xxxxxWhat it involved was an illustrated cookbook - very nicely done, I may add - that was dropped off at businesses or residences at the beginning of the week for individuals to look through. The deliverer would then return a few days later and hand over as many copies as ordered and at the same time collect the payment for the books. So, it really was sales, anyway you look at it. The only way anyone could garner a grand for a week's work was to work two hundred hours during that period. That was impossible for a number of reasons: first, your work schedule was tied in to the hours that businesses were open and since most had a nine to six routine, it would be hard to labor outside that timeframe, making it extremely difficult to accumulate hours. More important, there are only 168 hours in any given week, even with the daylight savings time adjustment.
xxxxxI tried the assignment and left after a week or two. There was one huge problem that had to be considered: if you left a book and didn't recover it, it came out of your profits. I had a few of these challenges as various company hours enabled the initial contact and releasing the cookbook, but when I returned a few days later, the establishment was closed. Fortunately I did recover every book, but from my calculations, I figured my hourly rate was no more than one dollar an hour. I had to pay for my gasoline, and rest room breaks were scarce, as it really was difficult to find the facilities.
xxxxxBefore I forget, I should relate my April Fools dream. I was just hired for a job and because of the climate, was told that there was a great deal of security. That is, I need not look for another position for some time, unless I really goofed off. The area at my new employment in which I was situated looked like a huge warehouse and I recall vast amounts of jewelry. However, it wasn't exactly clear what I would be doing. There were envelopes of material that I could read, but even that didn't clarify matters. I was confused to say the least but was greatly relieved when I awoke.
xxxxxI had to relate this bizarre happening because there are many instances in corporate America of just this same scenario. It may not be quite as extreme, but it's not much different. I know because I have been involved in similar situations. This can only mean that management hasn't done their job. I am convinced that we really don't need forty hours in the workweek, as my October 2007 book illustrates. Three considerations should confirm this:
xxxxx1. Why do you have in one corporation - maybe even in the same department - an individual who does nothing and another who is expected to put in fifty or more hours a week?
xxxxx2. Why are people expected to do sixty-hour stints over the course of seven days when there are people who are unemployed?
xxxxx3. Why does a supervisor come around in the morning and mention that the head honchos will arriving shortly, so look busy?
You may have seen the bumper sticker,
xxxxxJesus is coming, look busy
I didn't know he was in management. I was under the impression that that was the Father's job. I believe that the Holy Ghost has something to do with the Union.

xxxxxxx